The problem is that her issues are overblown or untrue

I often thought the same thing, until I really took the time to understand the core of the resentment. Turns out it was not overblown or untrue, just that I did not really have the perspective.

Thats not to say that she is not part of the problem in my case, but the things that I was denying were not her fault, and I was totally blind to them in part because of my ND but also because of the blanket patriarchy and privilege i was raised in.