Something I’ve never been that great at is spontaneous conversation. I’m more than capable of public speaking if I’ve prepared something in advance. But if someone asks me something out of the blue, I really struggle to engage in deep conversation. Afterwards I’ll think to myself damn, why didn’t I bring up X or Y?
Half the time I don’t know what to add and I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes words feel like they’re on the tip of my tongue and I can’t get them out, especially when I’m under pressure. And in group conversations, I find it hard to interject when I do think of a point. By the time a natural break comes along, the conversation has moved on.
I’d love to get better at this. What can I do to improve?
A trick that I don’t apply myself as often as I should: ask open ended questions, such as, “Do you think the rocks are quiet because they dont want the trees to listen?” Or maybe you can try a spicy one, “If you were president of the United states how would you solve the Israel-Palestine conflict” and then they’ll be forced to think and give a long answer and leads to a discussion and possibly a bonus fistfight.
Try to refrain from asking questions with simple answers like “where are you from?” because then they’ll answer “Washington”, followed by an awkward silence while you try to figure out what to ask next.
I would probably try to find an exit to the conversation if you hit me with either of the rock/tree or Israel/Palestine conversation if I’m being honest.