This community is housed on an instance run by two trans women, focused on the needs of the queer and gender diverse community.
We allowed 196 here because we were promised the community is queer and trans inclusive.
If you’re here it’s because you’re aggressively supportive of trans folk. Not middle of the ground, not “just asking questions”.
If your response to that is, “yes, but…” then this isn’t the instance for you, and by extension, this isn’t the community for you.
tl;dr - Unambiguous support and inclusion, or fuck off somewhere else.
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Edit - I changed the phrase "aggressive support to “unambiguous support”, as there was some confusion over the intent behind my previous phrasing.
well, yes and no
to my personal experience, it can feel kind of transphobic, as being in the position of being rejected just because of your genitals, and not because of the rest of your personality and appearance/gender expression just feels wrong and mean somehow, but if I try to rationalize it, saying that such pereference is transphobic feels just as bad, as you cant force someones pereference
there needs to be said that the person did not see the implication of praising/complementing someones genitals that were the problem (in the case of the original post “And it would propably be difficult with me going ‘I love your boobs’ and they’re always like ‘I hate my boobs’”). As praising or giving a trans person a complement on the bodyparts which are a big part of their disphoria is just mean and very painfull for most of them (this was propably unintended tho, and I expect the original postter didn’t think about this, but still)
[pre-anything transfem btw]
Most people expect sex within weeks. And no matter how great you find someone, if sex with them is a chore due to you not finding their sexual organs appealing(which is something you can’t really control), that’s not going to be an ideal relationship.
And on the point of finding something attractive about your partner that is the source of their dysphoria, that seems like a recipe for disaster and hurt.
I can understand how it doesn’t feel great to read those points and how it’s a talking point that you wouldn’t want to see in communities you follow, but to call it transphobic just because it’s hurtful just doesn’t seem sound imho.
But in this case at least it’s not simply boiling someone down to their sexual organs, but rather recognizing how their sexual organs could realistically affect the relationship.
Wasn’t that the point of the comment? They got asked if they’d date a trans guy and responded that it wouldn’t work out because what they’re attracted to is exactly what makes the trans guy dysphoric
Edit: the post the comments were under was a bit weird about trans though, I’d be fine with that not existing here