I’ve been struggling with something for a while now and ironically a sitcom from the 80’s finally helped me pinpoint the problem. My TV was on for background noise and I noticed that it was an episode of Family Ties. In the episode, Elyse Keaton was having a problem. A prominent building that she designed was being torn down and replaced by a cookie cutter mini-mall. She was struggling with her “legacy” - her mark on the world - disappearing. After the building was gone, what evidence would there be that Elyse Keaton was there?
I’m facing a similar issue. I don’t like getting into my day job too much online (for various reasons), but suffice it to say that applications that I developed for decades are being sunset/replaced. I’ve developed quite a lot over the decades, but eventually it would all be replaced. Once it is, what will I have as “proof that TechyDad was here”?
How do you handle the existential crisis of our works being digital and transient versus having an actual, physical product?
It sounds like you don’t really have an outlet to create artsy or physical stuff, but as a programmer there’s plenty of stuff you can do…
For example, I’ve turned my entire house into a “Smart Home” - My house has smart lights that can be turned on be wifi, and my doors and rooms have motion censors that I’ve all programmed to work together, and turn things on an off when I’m walking around. You’re programming a bunch of physical IoT things to work together, and the end-result when everything runs smoothly is pretty cool
Also I recently got a 3d printer (where maintaining that is a hobby in of itself) - as a programmer you can create a lot of cool stuff with that. Like there are scripts to play with to generate a Sierpiński triangle[1][2] - work on that, physically print that, and see the results as a physical object.
As a programmer you have plenty of skills to start creating random physical stuff. Even if it’s not for your work, just pick it up as a hobby. Like I don’t think your wife is a professional crochetter - so what’s stopping you from crochetter or painting or sculpting or whatever
I do enjoy building LEGO. Not just the boxed sets, but I’ll get minifigures and then design and build biomes for them. After writing about my wife’s crochet, I realized that this is one reason why I enjoy this so much. I design a habitat for a LEGO minifigure using BrickLink Studio (a CAD program for LEGO)., I refine the build - both to improve it and to lower the cost of the build. Then, I order the parts and build it. (And then, I’ll often need to add additional parts to fix issues with the build that weren’t apparent until it was built.)
I’ll need to do some more of that building. Frankly, if I’m going to have a midlife crisis, it’s going to be a “build LEGO” midlife crisis and not a “buy a sports car” one.