I’m proud to reveal my Advanced Retro Simulation Environment which you’re all going to be playing with soon. My A.R.S.E. is going to be so big that it will take dozens of magazines to cover it.

The best thing about my A.R.S.E. will be the content that comes out of it. Not a mere trickle, like for other platform launches. No, there will be a raging torrent of content, all exclusive to my A.R.S.E.

With it’s evolutionary industrial design drawing from nature, the curved profile of my A.R.S.E. will be a feast for the eyes.

Get your hands on my A.R.S.E. on April 1, and be the envy of your friend group.