Budget enough to avoid buying a HiPoint or other gun with a really lousy trigger. That’s no way to try to learn.

9mm is indeed the sweet spot between power and capacity, if you’re using proper defensive ammo and not ball. 9mm ball can fail to stop attackers even after making a fatal wound and require follow on shots. And considering the unfortunate likelihood of having to go to trial to defend your actions, taking follow on shots to stop an attacker is something a prosecutor WILL use against you. Proper ammunition is essential when you carry. Cheap ball is great for the range, though.

If you’re not concerned about needing all that capacity, though, and I think it’s realistic not to expect drawn out gun battles going down, consider .45 ACP. A proper 9mm round will put someone down, but a .45 slug is like a big rock hurled by a furious sasquatch. It’s gonna kick more, but it’s not hard to manage with a little practice, and whoever decided they wanted to kill you isn’t gonna ever be the same if they make it.

Safes are great, but even a locking case will do for a little while. More important than that, though, I feel is practice. Figure on 150-200 rounds to get a good feel for your gun, and then maybe 5 to 7 hundred rounds a year for maintenance, at a minimum. Handguns are harder to shoot accurately than people realize or tend to talk about in general. It’s easy for people to do enough to get their permit, but if you’re going to be going into the world prepared for a gunfight, you need to actually be fully prepared for a gunfight. Not just skilled enough to put your shots where you want them to go, but also with enough situational awareness to quickly judge what’s behind a target and where and how bystanders are moving around.

That means budgeting for things like taking a tactical handgun course and finding a way to practice more than just hitting a mark on a range. Shooting isn’t the same as shooting and moving.

Also, familiarize yourself with point shooting rather than lining up sights. “Bullseyes don’t shoot back” is a good book on the subject.

There are companies that provide “legal insurance” of a fashion, where you pay a monthly fee and if you end up having to shoot in self defense, you’ll have an attorney pretty much on retainer if you need it. It’s something to consider. If you decide to go for it, read the terms and conditions carefully, you don’t want to buy coverage up to $5000 or something and end up high and dry.

Don’t skimp on ear and eye protection, and have fun!

I’m going to make an incredibly simple list with very little nuance, because the reality is that so long as you don’t buy a total POS, the gun you buy matters far less than your training. So I’m keeping it very straightforward.

As someone who loves unique guns and much as it pains me to say it, it’s hard to go wrong with your basic Glock. They come in all shapes and sizes and calibers, and are the default choice for a lot of reasons.

Get something in 9mm. Ignore anyone who says otherwise. Dozens of studies have shown that with quality defensive ammo, it’s going to do it’s job.

I’d recommend a Glock 19. Lots of rounds, fairly easy to carry, nor particularly heavy, and a very popular carry gun all around. If you find that too big, you can step down to a 43, but you’re trading shooting comfort and capacity for daily carry comfort. Not necessarily a bad thing if it means you’re more willing to carry it. New, you’re looking $400-500 depending on seller and generation, but law enforcement trade-ins aren’t a bad idea if you’re on a budget. They’re usually well taken care of and have very low round counts.

For accessories, have at least 4-5 spare, high quality magazines. There are some very cheap ones out there, and a shitty magazine can turn the best gun into an unreliable one very easily. Even if you don’t plan on concealed carrying initially, plan to get a good AIWB (appendix in waistband) holster. Probably about $100-150 max.

Night sights aren’t a bad idea, but not necessary.

Only other thing some people will add is a light, but again, not a necessity.

A small safe that can be bolted down is a good idea. Don’t have to get too fancy with it, just something that prevents an opportunistic grab or some nosy visitor from fucking with it. Maybe $200

Ammo. Buy lots and practice lots. It’ll sound like a lot, but 500 rounds/year is kind of what I aim for. It’s only 5 range trips with 2 boxes of ammo each trip. Find a local club/range (most are shockingly LGBT friendly, at least in blue-ish areas. Regularly practice with whatever defensive ammo you pick, but you won’t want to practice solely with that unless you have a LOT of money lol. My personal pick are Federal HSTs. Very well rated, reasonably priced, lots of testing showing they perform well, and not a meme like a lot of “defensive” ammo seems to be. Keep at least 100 rounds of it on hand, but more is always better if possible.

As for the ethical consumption, unfortunately, given we’re talking literal arms dealers here, you’re kind of limited… Buying used helps, but only so much. Glock is Austrian and Federal is a subsidiary of a Czech company, so even though the manufacturing is in the US, you’re not directly supporting dictatorships like with buying something made by Canik (Turkish) or something.