How do yall go about meeting new people while still maintaining a decent level of privacy? - eviltoast

I am soon moving out for university and am going to meet a bunch of new folks. But I was wondering how do you go about approaching this with privacy in mind?

It is a little bit whonky to ask someone you just met to download Signal, if it is a group of people then it is more acceptable, or like how do you keep in contact if they don’t use any of the messaging platforms you use such as Signal and Telegram, and if you don’t use any of the ones they use such as Whatsapp or Instagram DMs (yes zoomers in the US use these) or Snapchat? Do you just use SMS where videos are absolute shit quality and you have no privacy there either?

Let me know how you deal with this issue.

  • Leperhero@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Privacy first, not privacy always.

    Basically, I accept the fact not everyone cares as much as i do, about their personal privacy.

    So, although I would consider a privacy orientated solution to my own problem first, i cannot expect that of others, so, its not the end of the world. I would take steps to minimise it.

    So, install whatsapp. Dont upload a profile picture other than a dumb meme. Dont have your name in profile. Dont plaster your life into messages.

    Or, dont, and only interact with others who follow your strict rules of engagement.

    Its a fine line. Between privacy militant and privacy conscious.

  • Samsy@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    What do you mean, meeting new people?

    starts playing the organ in the cellar

  • PuppyOSAndCoffee@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I am going to a bit counter culture here

    Let your freak flag fly in university, as long as it doesn’t hurt others or yourself.

    With luck, your friends will accept that you are a privacy weirdo but also respect what you do.

    Avoid evangelizing as nobody likes a preacher, a vibe of ‘you do you’ keeps it light. You will find your peeps.

  • Sha'ul@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    You get over yourself and if necassary you give them your phone number. Using whatever app is personal preference and you can choose to say yes or no to using saidapp, but random strangers don’t care enough to obsess over getting someone’s contact into. That’s what number block is for.

    Anyone who thinks if a stranger gets their number that stranger will now stalk them, that person is a delusional narcissist.

  • Ilandar@aussie.zone
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    1 year ago

    Relationships are way more important than privacy, so I am always open to making sacrifices if it means easier communication. That means keeping a mainstream social media account active (in my country Facebook Messenger is the most popular) and just limiting the data it can collect about me as best I can. Of course it’s not ideal for me, but the alternative would be to cut myself off from the majority of society and that is clearly a worse option.

  • edric@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    All the new people I’ve met since moving have only been in contact with me via sms. The only exception was when I was forced to install whatsapp to join a group chat to schedule casual basketball games. Then again I’m an older millennial and the people I meet often enough to exchange numbers with aren’t into social media that much either, so no friend requests and adding each other on social media. Just plain old sms if people want to meet up.

      • edric@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Sure. But as I said, those sms messages are just “hey, wanna go to x next weekend?” types of communication. Yeah it’s giving out your potential location at a given time, but my risk profile is not at the level where I have to hide my location from someone who is interested enough to intercept my text messages to find out my location.

  • ser@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    You can use an alternate number. But then… If they are upgraded to friend status, would you give them your personal number?

  • astropenguin5@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Depends on the university but for mine in particular discord is the primary communication method for clubs, and also friends to a certain extent. I think discord is decent for privacy but I don’t fully know, what I do is have my publicly visible profile be pretty anonymous and not tied to me.really at all, but then you can make server-specific profile names with your real name.

    I’ll admit I’m not the most privacy-oriented person, I try for a somewhat decent level of privacy (using Firefox+unlock, bitwarden, signal for family chat, a few other things) but also do have Snapchat for instance, which is one of the worse things I do. This does remind me tho that I should try and convince my roommates to use signal instead of SMS because they have iPhones and I’m android so it’s kinda awful for anything but text

  • RQG@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    In the geek community signal is pretty common. I meet most of my friends through D&D, board games and other tabletop games these days. Those are usually in person.

    If possible I used signal instead of WhatsApp groups to organize the stuff. When there is only WhatsApp then I’m willing to compromise for organizational groups. I don’t use my phone for much so it isn’t that much info they can get from my number and interests at least.

    Other than that I use no social media. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to make or keep friends you need social media. You absolutely don’t. Maybe for some kinds of friends you do but I guess then those won’t me mine.

  • rambos@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    10-15 years ago students on my uni shared all juicy content on facebook groups. I never made account because I didnt like that shit (and I still dont), not because I was worried about privacy. The thing is I missed some usefull information and it made my life bit harder. I can imagine even more important content on social media today, but I would probably miss them again :)

  • sibloure@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I don’t do anything special, as far as they know. I give them my phone number - but it is a VOIP number I use for family and friends only. I don’t use it with any accounts or sign-ups anywhere so I don’t care that the number gets out. I also mostly just text to plan a meet up in person. I don’t text juicy conversations. For closer friends, I got lucky and we’ve migrated to Signal.