What's the most manipulative thing you've ever done? - eviltoast

Even if it wasn’t so much “manipulative”.

  • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    56
    ·
    1 month ago

    Not the most manipulative but

    Keep a log of the birthdays, hobbies and names of spouses and children of colleagues, managers, team members and customers.

    I learnt this from a guy who did executive search. People remember you, when you remember what is important to them.

    When I’ve lead teams it’s one of the first things I find out - note down when someone says “yeah Gary that’s my hubby, he’s super into gaming”

    • Gary (husband.)
    • likes gaming

    When you’re a manager, your teams families, partners and friends know your name. Reciprocating that - learning who is important to them - is really important.

    • Maiq@lemy.lol
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      35
      ·
      1 month ago

      To me this seems less like manipulation and more like you put in the effort to not only be a good boss, but a real person.

      • SulaymanF@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 month ago

        If you care you’re a good person. If you pretend to care in order to network then you’re being mildly manipulative.

        • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          1 month ago

          Bingo. I think that’s the key to it - if you do it with the intent of getting something from someone, people will work that out pretty quickly and resent it. It comes over as being…greasy.

          If it’s done from the perspective of having genuine interest, care and empathy it makes it easier to work as a group.

    • myliltoehurts@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 month ago

      Has this ever backfired on you? While your motive is wholesome, I could see the practice itself seeming creepy. Like keeping notes of someone else’s life.

      • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        1 month ago

        Yep. There’s people that want to keep distance at work and don’t appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.

        • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          17
          ·
          1 month ago

          Yep. There’s people that want to keep distance at work and don’t appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.

          • Jane (wife.)
          • likes the pool cleaner boy and has been sleeping with him behind her husband’s back for 8 months.

          Some people just don’t like to have their hobbies shared.

    • NoNotLikeThat@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 month ago

      I do this too; it’s a great way to get to know your team and develop genuine bonds. People generally enjoy when you show signs of caring and interest in them beyond their work role.