How far in advance are you allowed to act in self defense? If you all but know they’re leaving the room to go get a gun out of the next room can you strike while their back is turned as they leave? What if it’s the neighbor who thinks you banged his wife and he’s going next door to get the gun? For most people there’s probably a distance at which the answer becomes “call the cops” but that distance probably gets a lot farther if the guy you think is about to shoot you is the sheriff’s brother. And what if you’re less sure? What if the person is clearly unhinged but it feels like a coinflip as to whether or not they’re about to try to murder you?

What about on a wider societal level? If you think a group of people is marshalling to attack you or the wider society can you attack first? Do you arrest them or even have the police violently disrupt their gatherings? Do you become a terrorist and commit an act of mass violence in the hopes that it will prevent them from attacking you or another group you consider vulnerable?

That raises the other question of whether it’s acceptable to defend others, but for the sake of simplicity it sounds like you’re not in favor of getting in the middle of other people’s fights which is fair, but do your kids fights count as your fights? Is there an age limit on that?

None of those questions necessarily apply to any particular ideology but I can think of a few ways people might and often actually have used these concepts in ways both favoring and disfavoring my own personal convictions.

Most people use the email analogy; the sub-lemmys are on different servers owned and moderated by different people, they just happen to use the same communication protocol. Similar to how you can email a hotmail, yahoo, or icloud account from a gmail account. And because they’re different servers people might have the same name, just differentiated by the server name. So you might see a MarySmith@gmail.com and a MarySmith@hotmail.com who aren’t the same person, they just happen to share a name.

tbh the more I learn and experience that’s most of the human experience. I had a Minister when I was young that said there’s really only two human emotions, fear and love, and that without significant intervention fear pretty much always wins. I’ve been working in psychiatry for almost a decade now and there’s lots of finer points to be made about human psychology but in the end it pretty much all does just boil down to fear and love.

He was an exceptionally good Minister, to the extent that for while I didn’t understand how common it was for people to be deeply betrayed by a church leader. It was not uncommon for people in the community to genuinely compare him to Fred Rogers (who was incidentally also a Presbyterian minister). Very similar background, temperament, points of advocacy, and even appearance and mannerism; if they hadn’t both been alive at the same time it almost might make me believe in reincarnation.

to my utter dismay the author apparently did not

actually there’s one weird one that I’ll put at the top because it might actually apply to the rest of you: everybody has nice pens. not like, fancy fountain pens, just the fancier rollerballs that feel smoother on the paper and the permanent markers with higher quality inks. like papermate inkjoys and real brand name sharpies. its a weirdly good indicator that they aren’t cutting corners elsewhere. a pizza party is a one-time expense, like a lovebombing abusive partner who buys you flowers the day after kicking your teeth in. pens are an everyday operating expense, and those costs add up. pens are one of the first things that are gonna get hit when the bean counters start getting their claws into the daily operational costs. good pens means they’re investing in the actual everyday working environment.

here were my first thoughts:

• good nurse to patient ratio (changes by specialty & facility acuity level)
• no mandatory overtime
• on-site security who are authorized to remove violent visitors
• good health insurance (they all suck but for the most part United bad, anthem good)
• no news articles about human rights violations
• low staff turnover / multiple nurses who have been there longer than 2 years
• when you do a shadow shift nobody is asking why they’re staffed so well today

…probably some other stuff I’m not thinking about.

This is a big factor. A lot of people conflate less benefits with higher taxes because fear-brain just knows they both equal increased hardship in the end. They’re technically wrong but their statistically slightly more active amygdalas are responding to a genuine threat, just one that they’ve been very skillfully misdirected into helping worsen.

Connections Puzzle #644

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Annd since I don’t see a thread for it yet… Wordle 1,366 4/6

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When I first heard this song I was an early 20s college dropout and had been working at a state psych hospital as a nursing assistant for a month. I was orienting on dayshift before switching to nights and my coworkers were miserable people who hated me. They sent me to groups for the day with the patients (a staff member had to go from each unit; eventually it became ~my assignment~ when I got held over onto dayshift because I realized it would get me away from them). They were having a music group in the room next to my post in the the hall and they played this, and I remember thinking that I knew that if I just got through all this someday I’d be somebody that people would respect but it really would be nice to just wake up there.

It really sucked at the time and there are a LOT of things I wish I’d done differently but these last few months at this new hospital I’ve had a couple people already (especially on other units) say that when a patient is throwing down and I show up they feel better because they’ve been impressed with how well I’ve handled them before. Sometimes it’s like herding cats but I’ve noticed I’ve got a better sense of even just where everyone needs to be in the room to handle something safely. The past decade almost now actually does kinda feel like a blur and it’s really weird to be waking up wiser and older.

(Also it really set off a love for EDM that had lowkey started with artists like cascada when I was even younger. Avicii is still one of my favorites and while I wish I could’ve had more I’m at least finding something similar with Apashe).

eh if I took up travel nursing I’d probably still want something similar to a house or apartment to rent for 3-6 months because most hotels aren’t really designed to be lived in that long but I also don’t want to buy a wholeass house then worry about selling it in 6 months. but that’s splitting hairs, at what point do you just call that an extended stay hotel? but also at what point does an extended stay hotel become a rental property?

but every time I hear a “property owner” complain about how hard and expensive it is to own other people’s homes I’m just like my guy no one is making you do that if it’s so damn hard just sell it to the person who lives there except deep down you realize how good of a deal you’re getting you’re just mad everybody isn’t acting like you’re not a prick for it.

🤣

Connections Puzzle #643

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I’ve been taking crisis deescalation classes for a decade and got certified to teach them this year. I’ve had classes that teach this as a good posture to keep because it keeps your hands visible and ready to cover your face. To me it reads as extremely dishonest. I think there’s a bit of an art to it and everybody’s ideal stance is going to be a little different depending on their style of interaction, but that’s definitely not one that would look good on me.

boofed it

My experience with the internet suggests that you are all but alone in that assertion. I was going to say I don’t know anything about that personally but Nick Wilde from zootopia did kind of get me (I’ve always had a soft spot for the trickster archetype).

I’ve heard other psych nurses say that it would be nice to have a pseudo / super low acuity psych hospital / jail superlite where all the people who have been so chronically institutionalized that they can’t function in society can just check themselves into and chill semi-indefinitely instead of clogging up psych hospitals with vague suicidality complaints (some of them are probably legit, but most of them are realistically mild enough that they just need a $100 a month room with a bed, a locker, and one of those japanese style single-piece sink / toilet / shower stall units, and a cafeteria on the ground floor). Offer them ways out, job training, etc, but if they’re really just so fucked by the system that they just wanna do nothing and maybe occasionally go to the common area and do a word search while watching sitcom reruns just kinda… let them live their best life as they see it…? It’d probably actually be cheaper than constantly ripping them between different institutions and paying for nursing care, COs, etc. You’d probably still need a small amount of supervision but you’d need a much lower ratio of workers who don’t need as much training.

Then you’re well prepared for a great doomsleep!

tbh being more or less nonbinary I actually really love the approach to gender this book takes, and actually not because the Radch is largely gender abolitionist (although that is pretty great). Also: fair warning, this is a discussion about gender as a philosophical concept, sociopolitically speaking it’s a fact that trans people deserve to exist however they damn well please and people as a whole really need to stop acting like that substantially affects them. The fact that this has resulted in people feeling physically and economically unsafe is a huge problem that needs to be handled a lot better than we’re currently doing. To me, a big part of the reason I haven’t pursued any kind of gender changes on my government paperwork is that I really don’t think it was any of their business to begin with, and I don’t feel the need to give the government MORE information about my gender.

While the characters in the Murderbot Diaries definitely sucked me in more, the approach to gender in that one almost struck me as unrealistically subject to our current moralism around gender. Most of my interaction with gender as a concept is that it’s the way the culture that surrounds you perceives you. Not even just other individuals around you: the culture as a whole. I’m androgynous enough that while my gender tends to fall one way for most people, it’s not unusual for me to be perceived the other, both, or neither. A lot of people seem to have difficulty with the concept that I’m showing a reduced amount of gendered traits, while some just decide they don’t care altogether, and the variety of pronouns I overhear about myself is always interesting.

So while I understand the desire for self-determinism, it makes a lot more sense to me to see a world where gender is a lot more determined by things like what language the interaction is being conducted in. And while I love that the Radch is gender abolitionist, it also raises the point that just because you got rid of that one particular way people assign social standing, doesn’t mean you haven’t found other ways to do that and be shitty about it.

Wordle 1,356 3/6

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So both the upside and downside of oral THC is the longer onset time. On one hand that makes it significantly less habit forming, but that also means it’s not gonna give you that instant satisfaction of the shower beer or settling into the couch with a cocktail after work. Working 12s that actually makes it more or less completely nonviable; by the time it would hit I’m supposed to be in bed. You can somewhat get around that though by taking a tincture that absorbs sublingually / through the cheek. The other problem you’re going to run into with the longer onset is that addictive tendency to overdo it because in your head you’re thinking that if you don’t take “enough” it’ll take much longer to “correct” / titrate your dose upward to your desired level of baked.

yeah people don’t understand what I mean about the whole sobriety culture being fundamentally broken thing. We’ve built up so much shame as a culture around addictive behavior that we push people into this weird shame cycle instead of addressing the cultural and lifestyle factors that lead to all this. Like if I was going to drink again socially, the main thing I would need is a non-alcohol related social hobby that takes up most of my time. It’s not a question of me having had trouble drinking, it’s that I had too much stressing me out and wasn’t engaging in any other social activities so I was leaning on it way too hard. I’m not actually mentally healthier than when I was drinking and using the gummies, I’m just physically healthier and that’s hopefully going to give me the energy to go fix the mental health problems at… some point I guess. Still working on that one (the other myth of sobriety culture is that sobriety somehow = mentally healthy. It does not).

Also, if we suspect you’ve done so (such as a hx of inserting items into orifices or swallowing them for pica or malingering reasons), we would do an XRay or CT first.