Look out, Britain! I am officially ready to colonize you back! - eviltoast

Now I have to hope to the god that is part of my new official state religion (do I need to have the local vicar over for tea when I move?) that someone over there hires me soon. Amazingly, people want to interview me.

The goal is to get the fuck out of America with my daughter before Trump is inaugurated. No specific plan of where to move, just wherever I get a job. We will move to the Falklands if we have to.

It feels so close now.

  • blackn1ght@feddit.uk
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    5 days ago

    You just need an account on this instance (Flying Quid?) to officially finalise the process!

  • Quicky@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Saw this quote somewhere recently and have been looking forward to using it, but “You’re the colonists. We’re the ones that stayed here”.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 days ago

      Thank you. I’ve been having daily anxiety where I’ve pictured them saying something like, “you fit the criteria just like we’ve said you did all along, but the doctor made an error on your father’s birth certificate and it says he was born in Lonbon, so no UK for you.” It’s like a massive weight has been lifted.

      • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
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        4 days ago

        Oh, the endless forms. “I declare that everything in this form is true and honest and if any information is found to be fraudulent my application will be denied.”

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        4 days ago

        I’m excited for you to get annoyed at the british food.

        Seriously though rooting for your happiness!

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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          4 days ago

          I was raised by a British father and also a British grandmother. I’ve had years to be annoyed at British food. And they came over here in the 1960s, so it was before the British discovered that people in Asia made food too.

          My childhood was a delightful mix of smells of things like Marmite and Daddies Sauce.

          I do like a nice Welsh rarebit though. And I know how to pronounce it properly too. It’s pronounced ‘Welsh bunnykins.’

          I also know how to properly pronounce gooseberry. Americans think you pronounce it like the animal. Nonsense.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      4 days ago

      Huh. Here I assumed there was a bunch of Silkwood showers on the backside of Gatwick for septics* to clean off on the way to the connecting flight. :-p

      (*Never tell me what the slang for Canucks is, unless it’s funny, and then definitely tell me)

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 days ago

      Britain is banning conversion therapy. If anything, Trump is going to make it more prevalent.

      My daughter is queer.

      I’d say staying in the U.S. is a far more tenuous prospect in terms of her safety.

      Also, Scotland is the most LGBT-friendly country in Europe. Not sure if I’ll end up in Scotland, but that’s a good reason to hope so.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBTQ_rights_in_Scotland

      • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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        4 days ago

        Aye awbdy is welcome in Scotland. I’m pretty sure it’s just because we’re aw too wasted to care about anything tho 😂

        Congrats on your passport!

      • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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        5 days ago

        Sound like you have a good plan. A little jealous that you can actually leave. Best of luck and make sure to send us a post card.

      • NKBTN@feddit.uk
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        4 days ago

        Scotland is pretty great. If it wasn’t for the weather being so shit 10 months of the year I’d like to move there myself

    • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
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      5 days ago

      After far too many years of Tory misrule, it definitely feels like the situation is turning around. Although the Labour manifesto was pretty weak sauce and their first 100 days were rocky, the government are starting to do interesting things (like renationalisation and devolution) that makes me start to feel hopeful again.

    • SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee
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      5 days ago

      It’s not great, massively shifted to the right, maybe as much as you, but we aren’t as far along on the scale if you get me?

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 days ago

      Thanks! I have relatives in Bristol, which would be nice for the support, but I think for my daughter’s sake, because it is the most LGBT-friendly country in Europe, Scotland.

      Really though, anywhere at all is better than fucking Indiana.

      • MintyFresh@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Lol Indiana is the worst. I was an over the road trucker for a bit, and as such became somewhat familiar with the lower 48. Indiana was consistently the worst. Everyone was angry all the time. And I honestly suspect some sort of environmental thing depressing I.Q.'s.

        On the East Coast, drivers where aggressive assholes, but you could at least predict them because they wanted rational things. May be willing to risk not only their life and limb, but everyone else’s too. But at least it made sense.

        The south has lackadaisical drivers. Unconcerned with anyone’s hustle. I think they may resent the invention of the clock. They have my grudging respect.

        Midwest would be the best if not for all the snow, but it has the benefit of keeping your Texas types at bay.

        Texas is an abomination that wants no explanation because fuck you and the earth you came from. But stick around for “the good news”. I won’t be sorry to see Texas become uninhabitable in the coming climate apocalypse.

        Indiana seems to thrive on retardation and anger. I know the r word is frowned upon, and for good reason, but I can’t think of a substitute. I have yet to meet a happy person in Indiana. And someone should really tell them they fought for the union in the civil war. Overall just fucking embarrassing. Worst drivers in the nation too.

      • Djehngo@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        Bristol is supposed to be very nice, Brighton is probably the most LGBT friendly city in the UK from what LGBT friends have told me, London is generally accepting of everyone but can be expensive.

        Obviously do some more research, but I figure it’s worth putting those two cities on your radar.

      • Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        I’ve been lucky enough to live in several UK cities, including Bristol. It is one of the most progressive places in the whole of the UK. As the other comment also says, Brighton is also great.

        You are also onto a win with Scotland - I have family there.

        What I’m realising is that actually, you are probably right saying ‘anywhere at all…’

        There’s patches of rough around (like anywhere), but overall you can’t go wrong.

        If you need any support, let me know.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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        5 days ago

        I think you’ll be very happy with choosing Scotland. I’m not from the UK but I’ve been many times and for a while my work was bringing me to Scotland regularly. The people are so nice and the country is so gorgeous, the culture, the vibe, it’s all great apart from the weather. Edinburgh is probably the most LGBT friendly city but overall people from all over are just chill as fuck (with that rough edge though). I’d consider moving there myself if it was still part of the EU, also I think our next place will need to have nicer weather haha.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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          5 days ago

          I don’t think I’ll get to choose, but if I do have a choice, I think it would probably be a smaller Scottish city. Inverness or Perth or something.

          • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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            5 days ago

            Yeah all fine as well I’m sure. Bit jealous to be honest, oh to have the Highlands in my backyard…